i think it’s important to discuss the specific ways gay men can be misogynistic and how they arent excempt from it but also i really really hate how comfortable people get with conflating being gay with misogyny :( like its just sad and hurtful and thats not a good way to think about gay people at all
please support my fundraiser to submit jeff bezos to a series of hauntings intended to teach him the true meaning of christmas so he’ll pay for everyone’s medical and dental work
1. Tell them how great they are and how much you appreciate them.
2. Be genuine and real in your relationships. Don’t pretend and wear a mask but share your true, authentic self.
3. Note, however, that being genuine doesn’t mean always dumping your garbage on those around you. Be respectful of their needs and feelings too – and recognise that we influence and affect others’ moods. That is, we can choose to either brighten or pollute the atmosphere.
4. Be a great listener. We feel loved and valued when others really listen to us (and demonstrate they’re listening through their nonverbal cues).
5. Don’t try to fix, change and make them into different people. Instead, allow them the freedom to be themselves, as well.
6. Recognise that we don’t have to agree with, or respect, others’ choices in order to have a good relationship with them. A lot of the time, we can simply agree to disagree.
7. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the role of victim or martyr … or a co-dependent lover, family member or spouse.
a lot of people on this site are like, deeply existentially freaked out that they haven’t been in love by 19 or whatever, and are desperate for any explanation for this that might make it ok. i just want to say, you are completely ok, no explanation needed. this is MUCH more common than you think, especially if you’re not straight. you’re very very young. you’re 100% fine. if you want it, it will happen in its own time.
i know most people won’t see this, but for everyone saying “but i’m over 19, what about me”: i picked 19 partly because it’s such an extremely young age to be beating yourself up over this. but it definitely applies to you too. yes at 20, yes at 25, yes “even” at 30. life doesn’t follow a set schedule. you are ok.
where! has! my! passion! gone! I had it abundantly when I was a child, and I must have dropped it along the way, but I cannot figure where!
oh hey folks fun update, i found my passion again? i just had to find my right outlet, get to a place where I have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what I love, it’s all good and swell!
A long time ago I took a course on the sociology of marriage and my professor said “With compromise, you both lose. As a couple, you must collaborate on the best possible outcome.” Ever since, I never prioritize compromise in a relationship, only collaboration.
this seems like a great concept and all but. what does it actually mean?
Compromise is typically thought of as a 50/50 split amongst partner’s needs. They’re both left partially unsatisfied, but this dissatisfaction is deemed acceptable because it is ‘equal.’ However, with additional effort, many problems may be solved through collaboration; keywords: additional effort.
In collaborating, one may try to make the conflict more complex in order to expand the possible positive outcomes. This requires trust in both parties, empathy, and consideration for one another’s needs.
The objective should shift from getting what you want and ‘keeping things quiet’ to making sure your partner feels heard and considered (as they should do with you). Essentially, you must trust that your partner has your happiness in mind, and you must have theirs, instead of fighting for your own best interest.
For further explanation, Google “compromise vs collaboration.”
